I need to stop 4 ever?

i havent been cutting my self but am so thinking of it i feel so sad an lonely i hate my mom somedays i wish she would die she says every thing that stands in my way to hurt me i hate her an i want to die or her i cant stand her shes stupid an i know dis sounds wrong but u dont know her like i do i think cuz of her i started cuting myself an i want to more i need to stop i tryed everything but still i feel as i well start again i write i read i breath i take a nice warm bath but still it doesnt woel my angry well always get the best of me i want to kill my self i hate everyone who stands in my way an i need help but i cant tell my mom am crazy or stupid she'll juz bring it back up in my face to hurt me plz help me i cat tell anyone i cant trust no one am 14 an lifes so hard i never have help when i need it when i fall no one picks me up where a mom when u need one i need a conslor but they'll tell if ur hurting ur self plz help me i dont want to need up killing my self